Building a relationship takes a lot of work and there are a lot of factors which will come into play. John Gottman, an expert who has studied the institution of marriage thoroughly for the past two years, has only one piece of advice for all couples – be as kind as possible.
Friendship, generosity, and sensitivity constitute kindness. It is well known that when a person sees others being kind to them and to others, it motivates them to practice kindness as well. This can make a relationship more loving and caring.
But kindness, though easy to preach is not always easy to practice. Pain can make you lash out, but as long as you are consistent in being kind, your relationship will be happier and more lasting.
You should also remember that you don’t need to put on grand displays of kindness. Being kind is in the little things you do every day to make your partner happy and these are the things that will make your relationship stronger.
For those who wanted to be reminded well and often to be kind, these are the 20 ways in which you can ensure that your relationship is strong and joyful:
1. Never Insult Them
Even when your partner has made a mistake, don’t unnecessarily put them down, especially not in front of others. Insults have a way of stinging, long after they’re delivered and can breed resentment.
2. Surprise Them With Chocolates Or Food They Like
You don’t have to bankrupt yourself buying expensive gifts for your partner. Just take note of the little things that bring them joy and ensure that they get the opportunity to experience and enjoy those things.
3. Be Respectful Of Their Perspective
No two people view the world in the same way and, even if you don’t necessarily agree with your partner’s perspective, don’t be rude about it. Respect their views and keep your discussions civil.
4. Keep Laughing
Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine and this also works in relationships. When you can laugh together, you can face everything else together.
5. Listen When They’re Talking
Always be fully attentive when your partner is talking to you, especially when you know that it is about something important to them. Don’t give the impression that you’re disinterested in them.
6. Always Check Whether They Want Something When You Go Shopping
This is just another one of the little things you can do for your partner. They’ll know that you are thinking about them and that you want to make things easier for them.
7. Treat Your Partner To A Homemade Breakfast
Breakfast in bed is fun no matter how old you are and a home cooked meal always signifies love and care. Make breakfast for your partner on the weekends and you will find that they’ll carry that happiness with them for the rest of the day.
8. Don’t Talk Without Thinking
Once you’ve said something, you can’t take it back. Speaking rashly is one of the easiest ways to ruin a relationship. Always take a step back and think about the consequences of your words before you say them out loud.
9. Don’t Hide Your Smile When You See Your Partner
It’s a completely natural reaction to feel your face light up when you spot your partner. Don’t try to play it cool and hide it from them. Seeing you happy will let them know how much you value their presence in your life.
10. Help Them When They are Having Trouble
Everybody goes through rough patches now and then. When you see your partner having a hard day, do what you can to encourage them and help make things easier for them.
11. Compliment Them When They are Having A Productive Day
Hearing appreciation for your work is nice and it motivates you to do better. When you see that your partner is having a good, productive day, acknowledge their work and let them know that you’re impressed.
12. Say ‘Sorry’ When You Mess Up
You’re only human and your partner knows that. Just don’t be stubborn and refuse to accept your mistakes. When you’ve messed up, apologize. Your partner loves you and a sincere apology will help heal any wound.
You should also read: 7 Daily Habits That Build A Strong Passionate Relationship
13. Make The Most Of Your Time Together
Sometimes, work can get away from us and we’ll find ourselves having very little precious time for anything else. When you’re going through such a phase, make the most of the time you get to spend with your partner. This will ensure that no distance grows between the two of you.
14. Be Accountable For What You Say And Do
Don’t try to shirk the consequences for your words and actions and don’t try to blame others. Take responsibility for the things that are your fault and your partner will respect you more for it.
15. Hide Sweet Notes For Them To Find
This is a task that doesn’t require much effort and will surely make your partner smile. Leave little notes in places where they’re likely to find them, just to let them know how much you love them.
16. Don’t Treat It As A Quid Pro Quo Relationship
When you do things for your partner, do them because you love your partner unconditionally and not because you expect something in return. This kind of love is essential for a strong relationship.
17. Let Them Have Their Space
There will be times when your partner will want their space. Give them your trust and let them have time to themselves so that they find their center and clear their minds.
18. Speak With Caution When You’re Angry
Anger makes us say things we’ll definitely regret as soon as the words leave our mouths. Whenever you know you’re upset, think carefully before you say anything so that you don’t end up taking out your frustration on your partner.
19. Help Out When Your Partner Is Busy
While the two of your should divide work around your home equally, be understanding when your partner is too busy to handle their end. Help each other out in those times so that you can live harmoniously.
20. Offer Them Praise Whenever They Deserve It
Your partner won’t ask you to do this, but whenever you see them succeeding, even in the smallest of tasks, let them know that their work hasn’t gone unnoticed. It will increase your partner’s confidence toward themselves and the relationship.